Focus pt 2, and Emotional Mastery

I've done some experimenting with focus now. One problem that is easily encountered with pondera is making sure we have the right beliefs. Here's what I mean. I'm not sure where I got this idea, but I had some internal thought that sensations in my head represented things happening in my mind. For instance, if there was a tightness in my sinuses, it somehow echoed some mental activity. Once I actually think about it, I realize that there's really no reason to believe that, but before I thought about it, it just seemed like a normal thing to believe. The obvious problem is that I thought I could guage my mental effectiveness with the sensations in my head.

This leaves us with the same problem as before: How do we quantify the mind? I have had some success in achieving a state of mind I find desirable, and using pondera to keep it. Unfortunately, it's easy to forget I'm doing it and when it's not in the forefront of your mind, it can easily get away.

There were some interesting goings on today. While I'm still playing with focus, my emotions are now comfortably in control. Verification came today in three events. The first was a fight with my girlfriend. I don't want to talk about the details fo the fight, but what's important is that the entire time I was in complete emotional control. I never got angry, or hurt, or prideful. To be clear, there was still a fight. Being free of negative emotion doesn't mean that you can't still be passionate. I still had some very important points to get accross. The difference was that I didn't say things I didn't mean. I didn't say things out of emotion. I could choose every word with logic, and as a result, the fight ended up turning into a positive experience for both of us.

The second event was on the drive home from Denver. a lane of traffic had been closed off and we had to sit through traffic for about a half hour. In this situation, it is normally very very difficult to keep my temper. Using pondera, it was quite easy.

The third event happened a few miles from home. There was a sudden torrential downpour. Visibility was close to zero, the roads were flooding, and hail was pelting the roof. Normally this situation would be not only stressful, but also quite scary. Using pondera, I stayed entirely calm, altert, and focus, and I was able to get the car home safely

Controlling emotion has become somewhat second nature to me now.

One last thing - I've been a little discouraged in my physical training. I started with weight lifting, and while pondera does help to reach your limit, it's difficult to convince your mind that you are in equilibrium when your muscles are failing. Today, I tried jogging. This was much more effetcive. Now, if you're less out of shape than I am, then this won't sound impressive, but I was able to run for 5 minutes without the slightest discomfort. I stopped after that because of time restrictions. Much of the success of pondera on a given action seems to be the action's sustainability. Clearly, running is a more sustainable action that lifting.